My flight began in June of 2010. It was then that my old self died and I was born from his ashes. He was born in July of 1980, and his name was John W. Bordelon. When he turned 12, I was there within him waiting to be born. He knew something was not right because he sensed that he was a female and not a male. He did not feel comfortable doing things boys were apt to do his age, nor did he feel comfortable wearing boy clothes. Instead he felt it was natural for him to do girl things and wear girl clothing because I am a girl. Society and his own supposed to be family did not agree nor let him be what he knew himself to be, so I was kept hidden from them and was not allowed to live. He had signed up for Second Life one month in 2005, but he had been long away from it due to hardships he was facing in life, so when he re-signed up for it, he chose to make himself known as a female by selecting the female name of Deanna Starspear as well as a female avatar. He met an old friend Miss Jerry who in turn introduced him to BabyAlice Tulip. He had seen her around the first time, but never had a chance to really talk to her. June 2010 proved to be just the right time for it was then that she had told him there was a chance she was intersexed from birth but was raised as a male. Not knowing what that word meant, he did as he always did when he had no knowledge of something, he went and searched for that knowledge. Intersex happens when a person is born with reproductive organs of both genders with one part usually hiding the other. An intersexed female is a person born with male parts showing and female parts hidden. An intersexed male is one born as a female with a small male private part hidden behind the female organ. He didn't know how he knew, but it was almost as if that term did not apply to him even though there is still a possibility it can be the case. It was then, he discovered that he was a transsexual.
A transsexual is a person born in the body of one gender with only the parts of that gender but knows in their mind, heart, and soul that they are one of the other gender. There are three types of transsexuals. Pre-op, non-op, and post-op are the three types a transsexual can be. Of course there are the two gender classifications of a transsexual as well. A transwoman is a woman in the body of a man, and a transman is a man in the body of a woman. Both intersex and transsexual are classes within an umbrella term called transgender. Transgender is a gender that does not conform to the traditional genders of male and female, but branches out to include those two classes as well as cross-dressers, transvestites, drag kings and queens, gender queers, people who live cross-gender, and androgens. Cross-dressers, transvestites, and drag kings and queens wear opposite gender clothing but still refer to themselves as the gender they were born as, but transvestites do it for the arousal they get doing so and drag kings and queens do it for show. Cross-dressers do it for either of those reasons and also to just be the opposite gender for a certain amount of time without having to give up their original gender completely. Gender queers are people who have a mixture of all different types of gender. The opposite of this would be androgens who do not conform to any gender identity.
After learning all of this and finally being able to accept himself as a transsexual, he died spiritually. I was then finally allowed to be born. At the present time I still remain as a pre-op transsexual, but over time I hope to secure some means of changing to a full female. Upon this time, I will even drop the transsexual label and just keep the female label for that is truly what I am. Upon my birth, I kept the name Deanna Starspear in honor of my old life, but then I decided it was time to chose a name of my own. I chose Kayden (true warrior) Renee (born again) Phoenix (reborn from ashes). Although, that may also change since I am growing closer to the very person that I consider gave me birth, and she gave me and idea to keep Deanna as my first name and just use Renee Phoenix as my middle and last. Deanna means divine in Latin and girl of the valley in Old English. I think I'd much rather the Latin meaning more since I see my very birth having come about from some divine intervention. Deanna Renee Phoenix or Kayden Renee Phoenix? It doesn't matter which I go with for the most important thing is that I am alive.
Please note that I spoke of my old life and new as being two separate people, but it is not because I have multiple personalities, but rather it is to show that I am not the person I used to be. My male traits that I adapted to fit into a closed-minded society have begun to die with the death of the old me. I am liking new things and my favorite color is purple with pink being second. In my old life, red and black used to be my turn on, but now I think those colors are too drab and dark. I used to be big on wrestling. Any wrestling on TV whether it was WWE, WCW, or TNA, I just loved watching it. Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays found my TV set to wrestling, but now I only watch on Monday, and even that is quickly losing my interest. I am more interested in the outdoors, nature, and arts and crafts. I still enjoy action, adventure, horror, and science fiction movies and books, and my interests in regression and in being dressed and treated as a baby girl complete with diapers and baby girl clothing made in just my size. I also still have my interests in bondage, pain, and diapers as a humiliation punishment for disobeying as well as being a slave, pet, or maid to a master and/or mistress, so a few things have not changed. Still, for the most part male traits have disappeared. That's my introduction. *twirls around like a ballerina and curtsies before dashing off until next time*
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