May 25th- What Defines Gender?

 Yesterday evening I was watching a news program that really impressed me one minute and then ticked me off the next. It impressed me when they were speaking of two parents that had a child at home and refused to label that child as boy or girl. That in itself caught my attention, but the parent's words was what really made stand up and clap because for once somebody out there is stepping up and speaking out against societies labeling of children. They said, "We chose not to say whether our child was a boy or girl in order to leave that option up to our child to decide what he/she decides to be know as. Gender is NOT defined by what is between the legs." I couldn't have said that better myself. 

  However, in the next moment a child psychologist was speaking against these parents doing this. The doctor's words were, "To not have a label on a child would bring serious mental insecurities to that child." Don't you think it will be more harmful to label a child one gender based on body and have that child grow up feeling like the other gender? I believe that it is much harder to deal with people calling you male or female and having to be male or female even knowing you or not. Then, I seriously had to curse the news reporter out when she agreed with the doctor and added that, "Not labeling a child will cause severe trouble with society as well." Why? Because that is how our society works. They feel a need to label someone by what they see instead of just going with what the person they see feels they are. Without that, they feel insecure with themselves if anything that is outside of their "normal" way of living. I am sick of the way society is! I would fight and die for what those parents believe, but I know it would be useless if I were to do so alone.

  Strength and courage is not judged by how many battles you fight, but rather it is in knowing when to fight and when to back away from a wasted effort. I know it would be a wasted effort if I fought alone, but damn it, who is sick and tired of the way society treats enough to do something about it besides just holding peaceful demonstrations? Who out there is willing just as much as I am to bring fear to them that mock us? Who is willing to finally break free and say, "Enough is enough!"? We won't accomplish anything being passive. It is time for aggression to finally have its time! Until I can gather enough people, I will wait and bide my time.

May 24- Injustice Strikes Again

I was watching the news last night and two things really pissed me off. The first thing was two common gay men had wanted to adopt a child, but they were denied. The reason they were denied really showed the state of our government's closed-mindedness. It was said that they were denied because all gay men and lesbian women have a mental instability that prevents them from being good parents to children. WTF??????!!!!!!! Tell me what is the difference between two common gays or lesbians being unable to raise children and two rich and famous gays or lesbians being allowed to have children? I'll tell you how I see it, the common ones are not as rich and well-known as the rich and famous ones. This is an outrage! If you deny one group, you should deny all. Also, people need to get it in their heads that just because a person is gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered, or whatever does NOT signify a mental instability. Being any one of these things has nothing to do with the mentality. As Sigmund Fraud said it, "Every single person is actually born bi. This allows them to be able to interact with both genders. Society plays a major part in whether an individual remains bi or begins to favor one over the other. The other factor is the individuals own choosing." You want to deny gays, lesbians, and bis the right to have children, then you would have to deny every single person. Your telling me that straight people make better parents? Bull! I was adopted by a straight family, and they were NOT good parents at all. My straight "father" physically abused the hell out of me, while my straight "mother" chose to treat me like gutter trash and my blood sister and half brother like royalty as well as turned the other way to allow my straight "father" to continue physically abusing me. If that is good parenting, I hate to see what bad parenting is. I've seen bis, gays, and lesbians treat children way better than I was, so why won't they be allowed to adopt children? Because that is how messed up our government truly is.
What's even worse, a few months back our president swore that Libya would have to settle matters on their own with no involvement from our troops. All of a sudden, now that the true reason behind the troops going to Afghanistan is over with, our troops have been ordered to Libya instead of being brought back home! First thing that pisses me off about this is that what right does this country have to go sticking their nose in business that should not concern them? Second thing, why continue to promise one thing, but then turn around and do another. Obama, bring our fucking troops home!!!!!!! Pardon my French, but this is ridiculous!
The saddest thing is that our common people choose to sit back and allow our government to basically shit on us and do what it does. Whether it is from fear of what the government will do if we finally do say enough is enough, or it is from thinking that nothing we do will change anything. As for me, I can care less what the government does to me for speaking out against them, and I would do something if enough people joined me in taking a stand. The time for peaceful demonstrations is long since over and the time for true physical action is well overdue. If enough people where to show this damn government we will not stand for their crap anymore, there would be a change.
One thing I did learn from the physical abuse and neglect from my so-called father and mother is that fear is what gets things done. At least, that is were the lesson began. The lesson was enforced in my mind when I read the history of the African Americans and women of our great country. They physically fought for their rights and now the government does tend to adhere to their every whim and desire for fear they will revolt again. Fear is what gets the blacks and women what they want, so maybe fear is indeed what is needed. We cannot stand idol, hold peaceful demonstrations and expect the government to take us seriously. I'm pretty sure these words would be considered as inciting a riot, and frankly I don't give a damn. If it's a riot we need to get what we want, then by all means in the words of Three Days Grace, "Let's start a riot!" Let the government come and knock on my door to arrest me and label me as a terrorist when they are the biggest terrorist alive in our damn country! I won't go down without a fight that's for damn sure! I won't just let them take me like Osama Bin Laden did, if that even was the true Bin Laden. I say this because from everything I have heard about this man, I don't think he would have gone down that easily. I'm not saying what he did was right, but what our troops did was not right at all either. They killed an unarmed man. Sure this man did kill millions of innocent people, but our government is only leading by the example that two wrongs do make a right, but yet let us try that and see how far we go. I actually agree with Bin Laden's sons. The man was giving up and the better thing would have been to do to him like they did with Hussein, bring him in front of a judge and then give him the death penalty, not assassinate him and show our country that two wrongs make everything right! Stop making excuses as to why you just had to kill him right then and there! There was fear he may escape or be aided in an escape. If he would have escaped then it would be our own troop's fault for not being good enough to prevent such an escape. Is that how you want our troops to be known Obama? Too weak to prevent Bin Laden from escaping? Nice!
I think I'll end this now in hopes this blog reaches the right ears. People who are sick of how our government is treating us and willing to get up and do something about it. If you want change and want to do something, then stop sitting there holding your peaceful demonstrations our just talking about what needs to be changed. Strength comes in numbers, but the numbers do not come together without enough strength to stop being afraid. I, for one, am ready to fight for my cause, but without enough people backing me, I will not be able to do it alone. Good News Book For Graduates- "I am but one person. I cannot do everything, but I can still do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do." I can write one hell of a motivational speech and I can use my temper for a positive change. These things I will never give up doing.

May 23rd- Flight Of The Phoenix

    My flight began in June of 2010. It was then that my old self died and I was born from his ashes. He was born in July of 1980, and his name was John W. Bordelon. When he turned 12, I was there within him waiting to be born. He knew something was not right because he sensed that he was a female and not a male. He did not feel comfortable doing things boys were apt to do his age, nor did he feel comfortable wearing boy clothes. Instead he felt it was natural for him to do girl things and wear girl clothing because I am a girl. Society and his own supposed to be family did not agree nor let him be what he knew himself to be, so I was kept hidden from them and was not allowed to live. He had signed up for Second Life one month in 2005, but he had been long away from it due to hardships he was facing in life, so when he re-signed up for it, he chose to make himself known as a female by selecting the female name of Deanna Starspear as well as a female avatar. He met an old friend Miss Jerry who in turn introduced him to BabyAlice Tulip. He had seen her around the first time, but never had a chance to really talk to her. June 2010 proved to be just the right time for it was then that she had told him there was a chance she was intersexed from birth but was raised as a male. Not knowing what that word meant, he did as he always did when he had no knowledge of something, he went and searched for that knowledge. Intersex happens when a person is born with reproductive organs of both genders with one part usually hiding the other. An intersexed female is a person born with male parts showing and female parts hidden. An intersexed male is one born as a female with a small male private part hidden behind the female organ. He didn't know how he knew, but it was almost as if that term did not apply to him even though there is still a possibility it can be the case. It was then, he discovered that he was a transsexual. 

    A transsexual is a person born in the body of one gender with only the parts of that gender but knows in their mind, heart, and soul that they are one of the other gender. There are three types of transsexuals. Pre-op, non-op, and post-op are the three types a transsexual can be. Of course there are the two gender classifications of a transsexual as well. A transwoman is a woman in the body of a man, and a transman is a man in the body of a woman. Both intersex and transsexual are classes within an umbrella term called transgender. Transgender is a gender that does not conform to the traditional genders of male and female, but branches out to include those two classes as well as cross-dressers, transvestites, drag kings and queens, gender queers, people who live cross-gender, and androgens. Cross-dressers, transvestites, and drag kings and queens wear opposite gender clothing but still refer to themselves as the gender they were born as, but transvestites do it for the arousal they get doing so and drag kings and queens do it for show. Cross-dressers do it for either of those reasons and also to just be the opposite gender for a certain amount of time without having to give up their original gender completely. Gender queers are people who have a mixture of all different types of gender. The opposite of this would be androgens who do not conform to any gender identity.

    After learning all of this and finally being able to accept himself as a transsexual, he died spiritually. I was then finally allowed to be born. At the present time I still remain as a pre-op transsexual, but over time I hope to secure some means of changing to a full female. Upon this time, I will even drop the transsexual label and just keep the female label for that is truly what I am. Upon my birth, I kept the name Deanna Starspear in honor of my old life, but then I decided it was time to chose a name of my own. I chose Kayden (true warrior) Renee (born again) Phoenix (reborn from ashes). Although, that may also change since I am growing closer to the very person that I consider gave me birth, and she gave me and idea to keep Deanna as my first name and just use Renee Phoenix as my middle and last. Deanna means divine in Latin and girl of the valley in Old English. I think I'd much rather the Latin meaning more since I see my very birth having come about from some divine intervention. Deanna Renee Phoenix or Kayden Renee Phoenix? It doesn't matter which I go with for the most important thing is that I am alive. 

    Please note that I spoke of my old life and new as being two separate people, but it is not because I have multiple personalities, but rather it is to show that I am not the person I used to be. My male traits that I adapted to fit into a closed-minded society have begun to die with the death of the old me. I am liking new things and my favorite color is purple with pink being second. In my old life, red and black used to be my turn on, but now I think those colors are too drab and dark. I used to be big on wrestling. Any wrestling on TV whether it was WWE, WCW, or TNA, I just loved watching it. Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays found my TV set to wrestling, but now I only watch on Monday, and even that is quickly losing my interest. I am more interested in the outdoors, nature, and arts and crafts. I still enjoy action, adventure, horror, and science fiction movies and books, and my interests in regression and in being dressed and treated as a baby girl complete with diapers and baby girl clothing made in just my size. I also still have my interests in bondage, pain, and diapers as a humiliation punishment for disobeying as well as being a slave, pet, or maid to a master and/or mistress, so a few things have not changed. Still, for the most part male traits have disappeared. That's my introduction. *twirls around like a ballerina and curtsies before dashing off until next time*